My experiences abroad in Siem Reap, Cambodia have taught me more about myself and the world around me than any other abroad experience that I have ever had. There have been times of great happiness and satisfaction and there have been times of immense struggle and obstacle, however, every single encounter that I have had has changed me forever. Not only have I gained more knowledge about both my own culture and that of the Cambodian culture, but these learning experiences have provided me with something even more invaluable; I am taking home a more matured, developed, and diverse outlook on life, one which has provided me with the proper tools and skills necessary to succeed in my future.

I believe that I have had many personal successes and achievements while here in Cambodia. I have learned a great deal of Khmer, a classified three language, have gained more knowledge in the domain of marketing, advertising, and business, a possible career that I may want to pursue in the future, have taught some of sweetest Cambodian children the English language, and have learned so much about this varied culture that I plan to utilize to better myself in the future. Despite all of these wonderful opportunities that I have had, there have also been many difficulties along the way.

For the first two weeks of my trip I took this time to explore and immerse myself in the culture. I did not feel any signs of culture shock, I did not feel homesick or uncomfortable, and I truly enjoyed taking everything in that was new and different from my own perceptions, views, and opinions. As I spent more time here, there were many things that started to disturbed me. For instance, I have never seen more poverty in my entire life. The severity of this situation is indescribable and truly horrific. In my third reflection paper I state, “I have traveled a great deal in my life and have seen some pretty terrible things, but nothing compares to the situations and conditions that I have seen here.” After having famished children beg for a dollar on a consistent basis, one’s mental and emotional state and overall positive attitudes begin to change. I personally was constantly reminded of the struggles that these people were facing and it upset and disturbed me. At the same time, what was more disturbing to me was knowing that on the opposite side of the world, in my own country, people were spending their money on useless materialistic items, purchases that could save the lives of many Cambodian people. From comparing myself to that of a typical Cambodian, I all the more realize how lucky I am to be an American and be born in a country of such opportunity and freedom. I already knew this; however, after being in Cambodia for two and a half months, this idea is ingrained within me even more. I know the value of a dollar and I am grateful to know this. What does disturb me, however, is that there are others in my own country that are always asking and wanting more and are never thinking that what they have is good enough. I live in a town full of people that have million dollar homes and top of the line jobs. These people in my opinion are so caught up in wanting more that they do not take the time to realize what they already have. This is one major difference between Cambodia and the United States. The majority of the people in Cambodia know the value of common necessities. The majority of Americans do not. However, it is important to note that this does not apply to all Americans or all Cambodians. There are many unappreciative wealthy Cambodians that are not willing to lend a hand and help out their own people. Additionally, there are many Americans who do not have a great deal of money and also, there are many Americans who travel overseas to help those less fortunate.

Living in a country of such power and control is also something that I am even more grateful for after living here in Cambodia. In my reflection paper 3 I ask myself whether there is anyone facilitating these issues of poverty, lack of education, etc.  I accuse the government for why Cambodian citizens struggle.  I state, “Maybe the problem is that the government prefers to spend their money on their 4,300+ Buddhist pagodas. The number of hospitals and schools combined is significantly less than the number of pagodas in Cambodia. Doesn’t this say something about the priorities and concerns of the leaders of this country? That they would rather spend their money on religious temples than provide education and healthcare to their people?” Though I believe that all governments are corrupt in this world to a certain extent, I am confident enough to say that my countries political system is more stable, organized, and supportive of its people than that of the Cambodian political system. Yes, there are many issues within the government of my own country, such as health care, conflicts of power and control with outside parties, etc., however the people of my country have the choice for whom they would like to elect to hold the position of power, have the opportunity to receive an education, and have access to medical care. In Cambodia, the prime minister has been in an authoritative position for over thirty years and the citizens of Cambodia have no choice. As an American, I have a choice. Not only do I have a choice, but I have equal opportunity as all American citizens do.

This leads me to my next point, the idea of equality. From what I have learned and from what I have witnessed, equality does not exist in Cambodia, at least as of now. Women are expected to abide by the moral conduct and expectations of society. They must raise the family, take care of the household, and cater to their husbands every need and want. Many women are restricted of advanced education, working in the professional world, and being independent women. Those that are independent, such as my boss at Joe-to-Go, Nimol, do not have a husband or boyfriend since they are too much of a threat to any man. These women are undesirable and for Cambodian standards, hold too much power. Whereas men can get married and continue to sleep with other women, something that is well accepted and acknowledged in this society, women are expected to be pure and innocent. Looking at this situation from a Westernized perspective, it appears to me that “these women have to constantly sacrifice their dreams, opportunities, and emotions to simply respect and abide by the moral conduct and expectations of society (Reflection paper 3: Equality: Does It Even Exist).” When looking at any situation, it is important not to impose one’s own cultural perceptions or understandings on that specific circumstance. However when speaking about this topic to my Cambodian teacher who is a woman, Reaksmey, she states to me, “See, it’s not good to be born a woman. It’s not fair.” Therefore, my feelings and concerns for these women do not simply come from my own westernized perspectives. Many of these women are unhappy and know this is wrong. Needless to say, there is still a struggle for equality in my own country. Just recently did we elect an African American man for presidency, a symbolic moment in the evolution of my nation’s history. Interestingly, Hilary Clinton, a strong woman figure, was the first woman ever to run for presidency in the 2008 election against him. We are still fighting for equality but the progressions have been vast and only continue to improve. We encourage minorities to apply for employment; we have laws, acts, and organizations that promote people to fight for what they believe. We have freedom of speech, freedom of press, and even emphasize in our constitution that “all men are created equal.” We acknowledge this importance of equality and fairness. I am very fortunate to be an American citizen and be born into a society where I have opportunity and potential for growth. In Cambodia, women and other minorities are burdened with these struggles at birth.

There are many other experiences that I have had that have allowed me to appreciate the people and culture of my country as whole. However, living here for two and a half months has also allowed me appreciate Cambodia and their people. Despite the horrific history of the Khmer Rouge that occurred in Cambodia less than 40 years ago and despite the poverty and lack of common necessities that the majority of these people have, Cambodians has some of the most generous, kind, and humble individuals that I have ever met. They are appreciative for what they have, they are accepting and hospitable towards strangers, and they are forgiving and tolerant of error. These people remind me of the simplicity and beauty that life has to offer and to be appreciative for what I have. They do not wish harm on others but rather prefer to lend a hand. As a whole, the individualistic society that I live in revolves around wealth, power, dominance, and materialistic objectives. We are conditioned to want more and we are never reminded to appreciate what we have. We are selfish, we are resentful, we are greedy, and we are judgmental. Cambodians are selfless, forgiving, generous, and accepting. As Americans, we can definitely learn something from the collective society of Cambodia.

Overall, this experience has changed my life forever. There have been many struggles along the way however, without these challenges I would not have learned anything. Having had the opportunity to be one of two Union College students to participate in the Cambodia Pilot Program has truly been an honor. I hope that my contributions to the school and the restaurant/ boutique will impact TGC’s future growth. I would like to thank everyone who made this experience possible but more than anyone, I would like to thank Cambodia. Cambodia, thank you for challenging and pushing me to my limits, thank you for allowing me to be in the presence of your beautiful people, and thank you for allowing me to grow and mature as a young adult. I will carry these lessons that I have learned with me always. Thank you, Cambodia.

I have traveled a great deal in my life and have seen some pretty terrible instances of poverty, but nothing compares to the situations and conditions that I have seen here. The average person lives on less than $2 a day and in order to live in a decent manner, the average person is expected to make $200 dollars a month. The majority of Cambodians do not receive anything close to this. As I travel around Cambodian, I continue to see this dangerous and depressing amount of poverty and it continues to hurt me more and more. The worst part is that I cannot do anything about it…

My first encounter of this extreme poverty was when I took my first tuk-tuk ride down along the river. As I was exploring Siem Reap, I noticed the beautiful landscape, the magnificent large and lavish homes, and the smiling faces. However, within seconds everything seemed to disappear. All of a sudden I saw weak and flimsy bamboo homes sitting on rickety unbalanced stilts, people walking along the dirt road with trash bags dragging behind them, numerous naked children covered in dirty, and a great deal of trash and waste on the ground. It was amazing to see how drastic this change occurred. Less than half a mile away for this deprived area were people with beautiful gated homes, lexis cars sitting in their driveways, and brand name clothes gathering dust in their walk-in closets.

There are no words to describe how sickening I find this. The disparity between the rich and the poor is insane. I was speaking with the director of The Global Child about this and he said to me that many of these people claim to be Buddhist however really are not. One of the primary practices of Buddhism is “Sila.” Its two fundamental principles are 1. The principle of equality: that all living entities are equal, and 2. the principle of reciprocity: to do onto others as you would wish them to do onto you. While people are suffering on a constant basis, always wondering whether or not they will eat their day’s worth of food or have a place to sleep at night, there are people who live five minutes away that not only have plenty of food to go around but have a roof over their heads. Since Buddhism appears to have such a great influence in the Cambodian society, I wonder why these people with overwhelming amounts of wealth allow this situation to take place. Why aren’t they helping their suffering neighbors? Ultimately the wealthy have the political influence to change this situation and reduce this inequality. However, it really comes down to not the rich, not the poor but rather the community as an entirety.

I am extremely angered and frustrated with this disparity. It is difficult to cope in an environment when you are constantly reminded of misfortune and hardship. In a way this really depresses me. I try to look past it and remind myself how happy these people still are (the fact that they always have a smile on their face, etc.), but ultimately, I could not imagine how happy these people are without an education, without healthcare, and without support from their own people. Though they may appear to have smiles on their faces, are they really happy (not that you need to have money to be happy)? Or, are they just making the best of a bad situation, a situation over which they know they have no control over so they may as well accept it?

The other night, as I was walking home I looked over my right shoulder and saw something that stunned me. A mother and her son were sleeping on top of each other under a small mosquito net that was attached to a building. They were sleeping on the paved city sidewalk. Next to them was the other son, probably about six or seven years old. He had tears in his eyes, his face was coated with dirt, and he was shaking from the night’s breeze. There was no room for him to sleep under the mosquito net with his mother and brother so rather than sleeping, he kept guard to protect his family from any harm. Katie and I passed him as he followed us with his two desperate eyes. We turned around and each handed him a dollar. He was overwhelmed with happiness as tears gathered in his eyes. I will never forget the look that he gave me; a look of such despair, a look of such fright, a look of such gratitude.

Last night I took a stroll down Pub Street to grab a few drinks and relax. I decided to go to my favorite Khmer family restaurant. Even though the food is delicious and they have great drink deals, I usually just go to see my Cambodian friends that work there (the same friends that I went to the Cambodian club with a few weeks ago). The hostess, a good friend of mine generally always has the biggest smile on her face as she greets us. She really is the tiniest and cutest thing! That night however, she looked extremely saddened about something. In Cambodia I’ve learned that most people are very introverted. When upset, angry, disturbed, etc. Cambodians always keep to themselves. I hate to step on anybody’s toes and I’ve learned to accept this cultural difference. However, I did mention something to her that she looked very sad and that if she wanted to talk about it I was here for her.

A few weeks back my friend mentioned something to me about her mother passing away in 2005 due to a very severe illness. Due to the significant lose of her mother, my friend has had a great deal of difficulty coping. Last night she told me that he father was very sick…

Her father had been placed in a hospital for some time now. My friend is only 23 years old and she has already lost a very important piece of her heart. She constantly works to support her family and now she has an even greater burden on her shoulders, taking care of her sick father. She had tears in her eyes as she was telling me this and I hugged and consoled her. She continued to tell me that in order for her to pay for her father’s medical care, she had to sell one of her most prized possessions, a beautiful silver necklace that her mother gave her for her 18th or 19th birthday. This necklace meant everything to her, mainly because her mother had given it to her. She was explaining to me how distraught she was but at the same time guilty for what she had done. Then again, she had no other choice…

Three weeks earlier she sold it to a pawn shop for $25 dollars. The store manager told her that he would keep it for another week if she could find the money to repay him. As she tried to hold her tears back, she told me she only had $10 dollars and that she was doing everything she could to save up enough money to reclaim her necklace. It was already three weeks later…

I gave her the rest of the money… At first she was unwilling to accept it but I insisted. She hugged me several times and thanked me over and over.  In order for her to save $15 dollars, it would have taken her an extremely long time. By then the necklace most likely would have been sold.

It made me feel really great helping her because not only was I doing a mitzvah but the fact that I had a significant part in her possibly getting this valuable necklace back made it all worth it! I made her promise me to run over to the shop as quickly as possible the next morning to see if she could reclaim it.

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….the next day I saw her. Once again she had a smile from ear to ear. Around her neck was the beautiful silver necklace that her mother had given her…

This week I had the opportunity to sit down with Reaksmey, my Crossing Culture Cambodian teacher, to learn about Cambodian Gender and the inequalities that women are constantly facing. As a country, the changes and opportunities for women and men appear to be developing a lot slower than for those of other cultural societies (e.g. The United States). Traditional values towards girls’ education, future occupations, and the conventional manneristic behaviors of women have not seemed to transform or change a great deal over time. Thus, achieving greater equality appears to be very difficult to do.

In the Cambodian culture, there is no question in my mind that women are inferior to men. I sympathize with many of these women that have to constantly sacrifice their dreams, opportunities, and emotions to simply respect and abide by the moral conduct and expectations of society. For instance, a Cambodian friend of mine was beaten by her father after trying to further her education. He believes that is it waste of money to pay for her continued education when she is simply expected to maintain a low waged job and then come home to her already arranged marriage husband where she will cater to his every need and want. Her father doesn’t even allow her to take FREE English courses! He is not even paying for her education, yet he does not want her to advance herself in any way. This idea simply continues to support this corrupt and damaged system. But this situation goes even further. The other day I saw my friend and she looked extremely pale and sick. I asked her what was wrong and she told me she had a stomach problem. I asked her if she had seen a doctor and she said, “No, they are too expensive and my father is not willing to pay.” I then thought to myself, does her father simply not want to pay because he does not think she is worth it? Is it because she is a woman? It’s so sad to me because here I am, with probably around a few hundred dollars of all sorts of medications that I brought with me from home just in case anything were to happen, and she has nothing. Imagine if this girl was educated and had opportunity? Rather than having to obey her father’s rule and rather than having her father prevent her from any success, she could be an independent woman, afford her own medicine and even take care of her insensitive father! I told my friend that if she needed anything I would be more than willing to help her. After all, what are a couple bucks to me anyway?

I continue to talk to my teacher and she mentions to me that men can be polygamous with other women once he marries and starts a family. It doesn’t matter what the man does but rather what the woman does in a relationship. Traditionalists compare Cambodian girls to white cotton wool and men to gems and gold. Gems and gold can easily be soiled however can always be cleaned to shine even brighter. White cotton wool on the other hand can be ruined and can never be repaired to its original state. This is how people of Cambodia look at women. Once corrupted or once given a bad reputation, there is no room for forgiveness and understanding. These women are places in a position of being ostracized from the rest of their community. If they do something wrong, then their family is looked at in a poor manner too. Men on the other hand can do as they please and are never reliable for their faults and imperfections. When I asked my teacher how she would feel if her husband cheated on her she replied that it is part of the culture and that men are allowed to act in this manner. Women are expected to work and then come home to raise the children, clean the house, make all of the meals, and cater to their husbands needs while the men simply work and then come home with the expectation of relaxing and being treated as a king. Women have all of the weight put on their shoulders. It appears that the men are like children that always need their mothers to take care of them.

Yes, these are the traditional ways of society but don’t traditions change? Aren’t they modified? If my country never progressed with time then we would still have African American slaves! We would still be hanging people for their sins! Tradition must change or there would never be development in the world! Although I am angered, irritated, and resentful of these men here in Cambodia, the women have a part in this as well. Why do these women continue to validate the system? Yes, the men have a great part in the way that they act and think however, women must stand on their own two if they are unhappy and want greater equality!

I then wonder, am I just looking at this cultural difference from a westernized perception. Do the women of this society happily accept their role and want to serve their men? Then my teacher says to me, “See, it’s not good to be born a woman. It’s not fair.” From this statement, I would imagine that this is how many women feel. My feelings and concerns for these women do not simply come from my own westernized perspectives. Many of these women are unhappy and know this is wrong too!

So women of the United States of America (and the many other countries that are able to say they have found equality), be proud that you have so many opportunities and are not treated as an inferior as these women obviously are. Yes, we are still fighting for complete equality today in the states but in comparison, we have made some tremendous strides. Hopefully one day women will take over the world!…haha ok im kidding, but really though, we should be grateful for the situations that we are in and know that we are very lucky. Actually, not only should we feel lucky for this but we should also feel blessed that we have fortune, a family that loves you, food on the table, and a roof over our heads. This is not something to take lightly here…

Tonight was such an amazing night that I couldn’t resist to write a post immediately after getting home since I want to try to capture the memory within my best words possible.

Tonight I went with Katie and our newest tour guide, Dani, to a local outdoors “dance club” located in a monastery, yes, a monastery (a monk was even the DJ!)! As I jumped into the circle of Cambodians with hesitation, everyone immediately started staring at me. There must have been at least 40 different sets of eyes gazing in my direction. At first, I became extremely embarrassed and questioned whether or not I should stop humiliating myself and my country. I then looked a little closer. Everyone was smiling! The children, the teenagers, the mothers, the fathers, the grandfathers, the grandmothers, and EVEN the monks and nuns exposed beaming bright smiles from ear to ear. I became captivated by their hospitality and generosity as crowds of people encircled me, three beautiful Cambodian teenage girls attempted to teach me traditional Khmer dance (that I failed miserably at by the way), and as a 75+ year old nun swayed to the rhyme of the music with me (this I know for a fact wasn’t normal because everyone around us started giggling and clapping their hands even louder to energize the rickety old woman). It wasn’t the music, it wasn’t the energy, and it wasn’t the scenery and lighting that made this night a night that will never be forgotten, it was the people.

The people of this country are some of the nicest and generous people I have ever met. These individuals glow with a type of kindness that is indescribable. Despite the fact that a large percentage of these people do not have the common necessities to live from day to day, they appreciate everything that they have and still maintain a smile on their face. They are not resentful, they are not angry, and they are not hateful to me but COMPLETELY the opposite (which in a small way is actually surprising since the US alone dropped more bombs on Cambodia than Japan and Vietnam combined).

Let’s take the 75+ year old nun who represents one of the most valued figures of the Buddhist religion. One would think that my presence to her would be unwanted since my open and non-conservative western culture contradicts her very traditional values. The western culture has had such an enormous impact on most surrounding regions, Cambodia included. Yes this culture is still very conservative, however, it is slowly becoming westernized in many ways: style of clothing, influence of the music and dance, influence of sexuality, etc. Despite this large impact, this nun in particular was still so welcoming and appeared to be grateful of my presence.

Additionally, the children of Cambodia are extremely amiable and charming. Whether on foot, on a tuk tuk, on a moto, or on a bicycle, these beautiful children are always greeting and waving to say hi! Sometimes I become so overwhelmed and surprised by their presence that I lose balance on my bike and have to stop and giggle. I have to say, this is one of the best feelings!

Another example was when I went with my tour guide, Piseth, to Kulen Moutain. After being on a moto for over two hours (and this is definitely not something you want to try since it is excruciatingly painful..hah), we stopped to go to the restroom. Not even a minute after we took off again, Piseth stops to pick Katie and I these beautiful white flowers hanging from a tree. It was not in any way a romantic gesture, since we have a very loving brother/sister relationship with him, but out of pure kindness from his heart. After this, we got back on the bikes and continued.

Another example to prove my point was when I was sitting in a cafe the other day practicing my Khmer (the language of Cambodia). Three of the waitresses noticed and became fixed on my studies. The first came up and started speaking to me with the little English that she knew. As I traced my first set of consonants, I asked her a question about the pronunciation of one of the letters. As I pointed to the script, she giggled and commented that she couldn’t read Khmer since she had to stop her education because her family was having financial difficulties. My heart sank. As she told me this, she quickly changed the subject to tell me how happy and grateful she was that I was attempting to learn her language. She thanked me over and over again. The other two waitresses were also extremely helpful and again thanked me for taking the time to learn their language.

Despite the lack of material values (money, clothes, food, jewelry, etc.), the people of Cambodia are still some of the most generous individuals that I have ever met. I feel so welcomed and lucky to be here to learn and grow in this unique and exceptional country. I guess what I want to say is “Thank you. Thank you (the people of) Cambodia for teaching me the importance of friendships and happiness.” I hope to learn more as I continue to experience this new and varied culture!

The other day I went to a Cambodian night club with my new Cambodian friends! Not only was it a lot of fun spending time with these people but as I was holding myself back from my “American Dancing,” because the culture is so conservative of course, I had the opportunity to look around and see some pretty interesting things…

Firstly, because going out was so spur of the moment, I wasn’t dressed as conservatively as I would have liked to have been. I was wearing shorts and a tang top but in comparison to most of the Cambodian women in the club, I practically looked naked. Despite this, I also have pasty white skin and blonde hair, so, needless to say, I was standing out! As I was dancing with my friends, a guy tried to touch me inappropriately, TWICE. After the second time I got very serious and told him to stop. Katie also has the same experience 5 minutes later…

Anyway, the point that I’m trying to make, and this example explains it all, is that although this culture is VERY conservative, there doesn’t seem to be a middle ground. Since the people are so “restricted,” it appears to me that they are either extremely sexual and inappropriate or very conservative. Yes, this Cambodian man probably tried to take advantage of this “stupid blonde American girl” and wouldn’t have probably done what he attempted to do to me with another Cambodian woman, however, his actions were EXTREME.

Also, the women appeared to be dressed either extremely conservatively (shoulders covered and long pants) or very promiscuously (that of a hooker, which very likely they were). I took a look at the rest of the people on the dance floor. No two people made physical contact with each other. There was a good 10 inches between every male and female and it appeared that most of the girls were just dancing with each other and vis-versa for guys. However, when the slow songs came on, which were a series of slow songs that lasted at least a good 15-20 minutes, either the girls danced together in couples, the guys danced together in couples, or a “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” “promiscuously” danced together (kissing each other, etc.). In the U.S., one would never see two men slow dancing with each other nor would one see two women slow dancing together unless they were 1. in fact homosexuals or 2. making a joke out of it . What was interesting, however, was that the guys that were paired dancing together, were mocking their culture. This was very easy to see! They were laughing and joking with each other as they touched each other, stood close to each other, etc.. Next to them, the boy/girl couples that were together seemed to take advantage of this rare opportunity to physically express their interest in each other.

Along the same topic, Katie and I accidentally walked into a prostitute bar the other day. YES, a prostitute BAR! Trust me, this was an accident! With our innocent intentions to enter “X bar”, a club for x-pats after 1pm, our friend left out the most important information to tell us, that we had to walk upstairs to enter. We walked in the front door. Though this was a pretty interesting and I guess you could say funny story after it was all said and done, in the moment, it was a very uncomfortable and intense situation. All of the Cambodian prostitutes were separated off into their designated sections with their chosen tourist, local, etc.. We ran out VERY QUICKLY!! Although this culture is very conservative and although we have prostitutes in every culture/country, prostitutes are very common to see walking up and down the streets from 10:00pm on. There aren’t a few prostitutes but MANY. This may be because Cambodia is an extremely poor country, however, this culture is “black and white.”

Finally, since this culture is so conservative, why is it that I’ve seen more naked babies in the last two weeks than I have ever seen in my life? Yes, again, this is a poor country, but why do the families of these children buy them a shirt to wear but not pants? Why not have the babies wear pants and not shirts?

I wonder to myself, why is it like this? Why is it so black and white? Is it because these people are so restricted that many want to rebel against this lifestyle? Is it because of the extreme differences in socio-economic status (working class+ = “conservative” and those below = “less conservative?”)? I imagine I will not be able to answer this question after being here for only 3 months but, as time goes on, I hope to understand more about this unique difference between people in the Cambodian culture.

The Cambodian culture is extremely different from anything I’ve ever known. In Western Europe and in many Latin American countries that I have visited, the culture is very open, promiscuous, and I guess you could say “sexual”…at least in comparison to the Cambodian culture. Let’s put it this way, things here are very different! This isn’t necessarily something that I dislike; however, the conservativeness is a culture shock in itself!

To show the severity and major differences from my culture to the Cambodian culture, simply take a look at “relationships”. There is no such thing as “boyfriends” and “girlfriends.” Everything is very private and ANY physical contact is frowned upon (whether it be in public or in private). In general, men are not really allowed to touch women (not even tapping a waiter on his shoulder at a restaurant for instance) and women are not really allowed to touch men. I would think this “restrictions” have both ups and downs. In my opinion, many people of the US value materialistic objects and superficial things. Designer clothing, fancy cars, and expensive homes to name a few…Not only this, but our culture is quite promiscuous and physical appearance is key (I guess you could say a necessity). In a culture such as the Cambodian culture, the lack of sexuality and physical affections would prevent any form of superficiality or shallowness in relationships because you would really get to know someone’s true colors and heart. People wouldn’t necessarily “date” simply based on physical appearance but rather by what type of person they are inside. I could only imagine how different our culture would be if we followed the same type of traditions!! Since dating is really prohibited here, arranged marriages thus are very common today…

Besides the very strict romantic relationships…

Other conservative traditions include:

1.      Not crossing your fingers (it is considered bad luck)

2.      Not crossing your legs (it’s considered impolite, lazy, and promiscuous)——this point is actually extremely interesting! When sitting on the floor (which most do when they eat, pray, etc.), women are NOT allowed to sit indian-style. A woman has to keep her legs together when she sits, which would mean that they have to put both legs to one side. This is EXTREMELY uncomfortable and painful…Women follow this rule in such a strict manner that when they ride on the back of a moto, many sit with both legs to one of the sides rather than straddling the seat.

3.      Not showing the bottoms of your feet or pointing them at anyone (the feet are the lowest and least desirable part of your body)

4.      Never showing anger, speaking loudly, or laughing loudly in public (I’ve already had so many problems with this because I tend to have a problem with volume control!..haha)

5.      Always wearing conservative clothing is a must (no showing shoulders, midriff, knees or higher, etc.)—-this is so difficult in this unbearably HOT weather!!!

6.      Not opening your mouth widly or chewing with your mouth open (this you would think is easy and similar to American culture BUT, in a traditional home, Cambodians do not use napkins when they eat food because if they maintain their superb manners (as of course they tend to do), they shouldn’t need one!!

7.      Giving gifts with the right hand and using the left hand for when you go to bathroom (what about the left handed people like me?!??)

8.      THE LIST GOES ON AND ON

The one other thing that has really caught my attention is in the conservative ways in meeting and greeting. Greeting between Cambodians depend on the relationship, hierarchy, AND age between the people. It is customary to bow while bringing both hands together. The higher you place your hands, the more respect you give to that person

-for friends of the same age: both palms are placed together facing each other at the CHEST level

-for people senior in rank and age: both palms are placed together facing each other at the MOUTH level

-for parents, grandparents, and teachers: both palms are placed together facing each other at the NOSE level

-for praying to God and other sacred deities: both palms are placed at the FOREHEAD

As a country that values equality and fairness, it is insulting to treat some with more respect and others with less respect. As I was always taught, “you give respect, you get respect.” Though it is customary to give a lot of respect to our grandparents for instance, we do not necessarily give other people less respect simply because they may be a few years younger or older. This idea of bowing and showing more respect to some and showing less respect to others is something that I still am trying to work on and get used to. It has been ingrained in me for my entire life  to give all the same/equal amount of respect (at least try to as much as possible). I feel rude but also nervous that I may or may not be greeting someone properly. To them they may take my mistake as a sign of disrespect but because I am a tourist, I fortunately get the benefit of the doubt! Either way, this conservative idea is something that will take me a very long time to get used to. It may even be possible that I will never fully be used to it…  

As most may know, the predominant religion in Cambodia is Theravada Buddhism. The key ideas of Theravada Buddhism are social tranquility and placid acceptance of the trials and tribulations of life. It advocates peace and harmony as well as tolerance and acceptance of others. This is so easily seen through the Khmer people as they are constantly smiling, greeting you, and asking you many questions….

HOWEVER, I must say, the tuk-tuk drivers, though friendly, are really starting to drive me CRAZY!! Tuk-tuks (cambodian taxis) sit along the side of the road waiting for their customers. Where I am constantly walking/riding my bike, there are probably over 20 tuk-tuks on my ONE street. Sometimes you may even see tuk-tuk drivers sleeping in their carts since there are so many others available. As I walk down the street one man asks, “Tuk-tuk”, I say “No, thanks”. The guy next to him  (Who I’m sure heard me) asks, “Tuk-tuk”, I say “No, again”. The guy next to him who was sleeping three seconds ago rises and asks “Tuk-tuk”, again I say “NO!”. I then stop to ask the next driver in line, “why do you continue to ask? There are over 500 tuk-tuks on one street so if someone wanted a tuk-tuk they wouldn’t have to wait and ask because there is most likely a tuk-tuk three feet away from them!” The guy laughed..(either because he didn’t understand what I was saying or because he wanted me to shut up so he could ask the tourists behind me if they wanted a tuk-tuk). One time Katie and I were even on our bikes and a guy asked if we wanted a tuk-tuk!!!!! What is this man thinking???

NOTE: For all of the TUK-TUK drivers out there, I DO NOT WANT ONE!!

Despite the fact that the tuk-tuk drivers annoy me at times (ok, all the time!), I understand they’re trying to make a business. Though it is very frustrating, these people are still extremely friendly. HOWEVER, I know for myself, I would never get into the tuk-tuk business. There are WAY TOO MANY TO COMPETE WITH…                

The boy with the beautiful white flowers

Yesterday I had the opportunity to meet the children that I will be working with for the next three months. There was a ceremony to congratulate those who received second place in the Karate tournament in Phnom Penh. It was really wonderful to see how content and proud these students were to receive metals. I turned to my side and made a comment to Katie that it hurt me knowing that most of these children do not have families (or stable ones at that) and come from very little money. However, at the same time, she reminded me that these children were happy as can be and very lucky to receive such great educations at The Global Child. As they stuffed their faces with the sweets and cookies that were provided after the ceremony, I realized that she was right.

During this time, I took the opportunity to speak to some of my future students. They were all so friendly, upbeat, and energetic as I tried to use the very LITTLE Khmer that I learned to say “Hello” and “How are you?”.  One particular child caught my attention so I asked (in English) how old she was, a very simple question that most would ask a child when they first meet them. Now keep in mind, this girl was not a young child, however, usually, children are proud to announce their age and to show how “old” and mature they are. I know that from my own personal experience as a child I always wanted to be considered mature, advanced, and I guess you could say “older”. I’m sure you remember those children that would boast and say, “I’m 6 3/4 years old.” As I asked her this question, she giggled and ran over to an adult to ask them a question. I initially thought she was just asking them how to say her age in English, however, it turns out that she was asking the teacher how old she actually was. I was shocked and amazed by the fact that she was unaware of this very important piece of her own identity. However, I maintained a smile on my face as she replied, “I’m 13 OR 14 years old, I’m not sure”, with a large smile and bursts of laughter. The fact that she was able to answer this question with such enthusiasm as if nothing seemed wrong initially upset me. To think that a child doesn’t actually know this important fact about them self was heartbreaking. Along with this child, many records were missing for several of the other children at TGC (The Global Child). One student I met was either supposedly 17 OR 23 years old, a difference of 6 years!!! I began to ponder this idea as I left the school and realized that although many of these children may not have the same types of opportunities and fortune that other children may have, these sweet children still maintain a smile on their face and voices of laughter and happiness. They appear to be very appreciative for what they have. If only all of us could look at life like this and follow the lead of these young children…

This idea was further supported as I closed the gates to the school and saw a little boy, of probably about 3 or 4 years old, wearing these large white flowers behind his ears. Though his clothes were torn and dirty and though he didn’t have shoes, he was bobbing his head up and down, with pride in each of his strides. He was proud of his appearance and of the two flowers that rested against his ears. Obviously, I couldn’t resist and asked him if I could take a picture. With thumbs up, he allowed me to take a quick shot! Not only is it an absolutely ADORABLE picture, but this pictures has so much meaning. Though one may not have everything in this world, they continue to raise their head help up high and appreciate the little things that they have…